Thursday, September 01, 2005
Studying into the night has given me a rather sentimental mood. I don't know why am I blogging this. Hmm, well i just feel that there are too much emotions inside me and i need to empty out some of it. It doesn't help that I'm listening to some emo songs now. How do I start.. well i can say that I'm a very mysterious person, and there are secrets I hold that not even my best friend know of. Holding so many secrets can be overwhelming at times, and I've a desire to pour everything out. However, something is always holding me back, & it don't feel good to be sitting here, trying to put all your feelings properly into place. I don't have the courage to tell someone everything. I tend to think too much in the middle of the night. My confidence tends to dissolve. My imagination tends to run wild. I would love to be the kind of just-do-it girl. Unfortunately I lack the courage, the strength and the confidence in myself. I admire others, I see how others treat others, I see the difference in treatment, and I wonder. I often wonder, is image really that important? I see the importance of it, I feel it, and I'm guily of it. Sometimes I wonder, why do I care so much about my image? Why do I care so much about how others see me? I ponder, struggle to find my own answer. Perhaps I have found it, and I know the reason, I know its hidden somewhere, burried deep. But I know of its existance, I know why.
Clare [2:15 AM]
